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Kelly Osbourne's rambling non-apology


Dave Gordon - Tuesday, 4 August, 2015

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Celebrity Kelly Osbourne took to her Facebook account to publicly apologize for, what has now become, a highly publicized gaffe.

Criticizing presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s controversial stance on illegal immigration - and presumably attempting to sound more liberal and tolerant of illegal immigrants than him - she asked “If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?”.

Naturally, following her comments, the Internet exploded into a firestorm of rage rivaled only by the onslaught she reserved for celebrities wearing clothes she deemed frumpy during her time on E!’ s Fashion Police. 

Osbourne quickly turned to her Facebook account as the medium through which she could apologize and explain her words. The problem, though, is that she did neither.

Below is the text of her post with my own commentary in brackets.

“I want to start by saying I ALWAYS take responsibility for my actions. In this particular case I will take responsibility for my poor choice of words but I will not apologize for being a racist as I am NOT.” 

[A conditional ‘apology’; never a good start. And denial of being racist, despite having made remarks indicating that, in her mind, Latinos who came to the US from Mexico do nothing more clean toilets. 

Furthermore, taking responsibility for one’s actions, which were broadcast on live television and saved forever in dozens of YouTube videos, is pointless. When you’re caught doing something on tape, you needn’t take responsibility for your actions; the tape is forcing you to do that. It’s not a responsible or brave step to take.]

I whole-hearted (sic) f—ked up today. I don’t want to bulls—t anyone with lame excuses.

[Admission of the obvious, followed by a promise not to make any lame excuses for her offensive comments. This would’ve been fabulous if it hadn’t actually been followed up by a number of lame excuses for her offensive comments].

Although, I was stopped mid-sentence by Rosie and couldn’t finish my point

 [which presumably would’ve contextualized and clarified the seemingly offensive comments?]

I will not let Rosie take responsibility for my words."

[Lame excuse 1: I was interrupted and therefore not able to really explain what I meant by ‘all Latinos are toilet cleaners’.]

I should have known better as I was on The View and it was live. 

[Lame excuse 2: I was on live TV. 

Don’t ask why this makes any difference whatsoever. In fact, if you’d previously believed that live TV eliminates the possibility of ‘do-overs’ and therefore tends to showcase a commentators most authentic opinions, Kelly would like you to know that you’re mistaken].

I’ve learned a very valuable lesson.

[But please don’t ask me what it is.]


It is my hope that this situation will open up a conversation about immigration and the Latin community as a whole.

[…so that all of the focus on my comments can stop ASAP!]

By the way I clean my own f—king toilets.”

[I’ve been trying desperately to come up with a response that isn’t slanderous but I just can’t. So let’s just say “Ummm…ok. We believe you.”]

Here’s what Osbourne’s apology doesn’t include:

 

  1. An apology.
  2. An explanation (real or made up) about why she suggested that all illegal immigrants from Mexico clean toilets.
  3. A plan of action about how she is going to do better next time and educate herself.
  4. A request for forgiveness from those who were hurt or demeaned by her comments.

This has to be one of the best (read: worst) non-apologies I’ve seen from a celebrity.

A much better apology would've looked something like this:

“I’m sorry. My comments on today’s edition of The View revealed a side of my thinking that’s embarrassing and small-minded. I have a lot of work to do to better understand the realities of the life of illegal immigrants and the overall contributions of the Latino community. I am ashamed by what I’ve said and ask forgiveness from everyone I’ve offended.”


 

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